Angels and Heroes

Does this ever happen to you?

Scenario: You make a sculpture out of clay, but its all lopsided and funny, so you never bother to polish it up and send it through the fiery kiln to preserve it for life. Than, maybe hundreds of years later, you uncover this blob of clay while cleaning out your attic, and, lo and behold, it is just what you've been looking for to be the springboard of a new, fantastic idea!!

Ok, so that particular scenario has never happened to me.

However, I'm sure my loyal readers will recall WAY back in November when I lost my mind and decided to write that 50,000 word novel in a month for NaNoWriMo (note my NANOWRIMO WINNER! sticker to your immediate right....).

Yes, My Hero. I was fairly certain I was just going to leave that pile of junk in the attic to slowly starve (if not burn it straight off).

However, unexpectedly, something happened.

I got a new idea. One that would mold perfectly to the existing work done for My Hero!!

It has to do with a song, called Angels. Very moving and beautiful. And I often get story ideas from songs, but what was cool about THIS was that my original inspiration sparked by this, one of Owl City's newest songs, was incomplete. It was only half-formed and half-realized...just like My Hero.

It won't be easy to go through the hodge-podge document that is My Hero (hey, when you're speed writing, you tend to let things go!), but it will be SO fulfilling to watch two stories complete each other.

That sounds weirdly sappy and romance-novel-esque.

But its true!

So, here's to angels and heroes!

I can't wait.

A Surplus of Strawberries

I'M BACK! I have just had the most amazing week of my life. I'm amazed I haven't exploded from overexposure to sheer awesomeness.

It was INCREDIBLE. I just attended a D-Week NET retreat, and it was the best experience of my life. I'm not kidding. There was praise. There was confession. There was adoration. There was laughing until you couldn't breathe. There was bawling hysterically. There were new friends and new experiences. There were old friends and bonding time! There as grandparents and hanging out with your big sister time! IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!

But, there was one thing that stood out from the rest this week most prominently.

STRAWBERRIES.

No lie.

I had fresh strawberries two or three times for meals at the retreat.

Strawberry Popsicles twice...like, INTENSE strawberry Popsicles with real pieces of fruit!

Strawberry crepes at Baker's Square...and let me tell you, the strawberry crepes are hard core strawberry/whipped cream-ness.

Than, for some strange reason, I chose a STRAWBERRY milkshake at Dairy Queen.

I get home, and what are my siblings snacking on?

STRAWBERRIES.

They're haunting me.

It has all very much reminded me of the song Strawberry Avalanche by Owl City. Its creepy how much I feel like I'm LIVING this song out right now. :-/

So...hello again, blog world! Happy Strawberries! Hope you had a good strawberry!

I mean...

.......Oh, dear........

(picture)

To my Daddy...

Thank you, Dad, so much.

For loving me.

For holding my hand.

For building me up.

For teaching me.

Holding me.

Protecting me.

Giving me life.

Supporting me.

Sacrificing for me.

Bring me closer to God.

Providing for me.

Giving me a safe home, and a big family.

For being there.

For blessing me.

For comforting me.

For praying for me.

For setting the standards and the expectations that you did.

And most of all, for making me into the person I am today.

I love you!

(Pictures Flickr)

Forgive me....

I shall be gone from the land of Computer Access for about five days, starting Monday.

There, there...don't cry.

I've decided to leave you a little something to tide you over!

Music!

Meteor Shower, by Owl City! Alas, none of the songs from their newest album are available for public listening that I've found, so here's a beautiful and brief one from their previous album .

And....

CAAAAKE!!!

Have a nice week.

Growing up...

How long are you actually 'growing up'? Does it end when you turn 18? 19? 21? 27?

When ARE you 'grown up'?

And I'm not just talking about height and shoe size here.

I think I'm having an 'emotional growth spurt'.

Its basically like a regular growth spurt only...emotional.

(Duh.)

Why, you might ask, would I come to believe such a thing?

Well...about three years ago the same thing happened. I started going backwards...I whined more, acting more childish, and cried a lot. Not TOO terribly long after that horrendous phase, I became more mature. Sort of. And now I'm kind of feeling that way again. Everyone is telling me I'm doing something wrong, when I'm being myself. I don't know about you, but for me, that's pretty rough.

Example: I tell people about something I did because it was really meaningful to me and turned out very well, and I felt really good about it in my heart. A chorus of, "You did WHAT!?" and "NEVER do that!" come at me like a collapsing building. So I huddle back inside my shell and wonder what I did wrong.

I didn't really do anything wrong, I guess. I just need to stick by myself. What happens when you abandon your own fight? Well...you retreat or surrender. You lose.

I've always hated growing. I think it started when I outgrew a most hideous pair of red gel sandals, and I had planned on keeping them forever. One of my favorite songs is Taylor Swift's Never Grow Up, just because I feel like it speaks to the part of my heart that will always cling to the brief time I was two feet tall, had no responsibilities, and was worried about nothing but staying safe in my mom's arms.

Maybe someday I'll be all 'grown up'.

Probably not, though : ).

Happy Half Birthday To Me!

Yes, today is indeed my half birthday.

Yay me!

I'm another half a year older!

Yeah, yeah, I know...big whoop.

But, to celebrate, I did two things. I ate a Mango Dum-Dum lollipop (it was very good), and I indulged in one of my very favorite things in the world......MUSIC.

Today I bought, using my Amazon gift card from Easter:

* Owl City's newest album, All Things Bright and Beautiful, which released today. I believe Adam Young purposefully postponed the release so it would be on my half-birthday.

(No, I don't really believe that, but it makes me feel special....)

* Crazy Girl by the Eli Young Band.

* All I Ask, by By Jove (if you haven't heard of them, give them a listen...great stuff!)

* Just A Kiss, by Lady Antebellum.

I love music! I have been waiting to get Crazy Girl over a month, and All Things Bright and Beautiful since I found out Adam Young was in the process of making it : ).

So....in 6 months it'll really be my birthday, but for now, I'm busy bobbing my head to my new music. Hope your June 14th was good, too.

Picking Up Where We Left Off...

I really hate two-part episodes in life. Or...in this case, umpteenth-part episodes. Situations and relationships where you have to stop and start constantly, just because of distance and poor communication skills and busy, busy, business!

Long-distance friendships are really hard....and currently, most of my friendships are just that. Very, VERY long-distance. Hence the on-again off-again thing I do so detest.

So what's a girl to do?

Today I called up my first and best friend, the one who I must find a better nick-name for than Squishy for heaven's sake. We'll call her Kara : ). Anyway...I hadn't talk to Kara in months. We'd texted briefly, but that doesn't count at all. I couldn't hear her voice and know what she was thinking and feeling. So it was amazing to talk to her today. I hadn't realized just how much I missed her until than.

We're very alike, but just different enough that we don't want to kill each other. I love her so much, because even though we have very different families and lifestyles, we understand each other and talk about absolutely anything.

Every once in a while, I get really scared of losing people I love. She is one of the people I have this little nightmare about...that someday we'll just have lost track of each other and never see or hear from the other again. It could happen. We live very far apart and hardly ever see each other.

So that's why I hate the to be continued things in life. There's all that time in between for something to go wrong...for someone to stop loving you.

I don't know why I'm so afraid of that. Its one of those fears I've just always had. No one has ever abandoned me or really scarred me...so why this irrational fear of losing people?

Maybe it's just who I am. Its a hard fear to live with, but I'm still here, so it must not be lethal.

And even though I hate the breaks in between, I will never stop trying to keep in touch with these people. I could never just give up on people I've loved so much and for so long.

I have concluded that hope is what keeps people alive. If you don't keep hoping, you can't keep going for very long. So I hope and I pray and I refuse to give up on love. Love can't be repaid, only given away. Its never wasted, no matter how little you get in return.

So, here's to picking up where we left off. Hopefully, someday, we won't have to wait so long in between.