Life Is Beautiful

I don't think my life has ever been quite this beautiful, and I can't wait to see where it goes. 

These are things that make us feel alive
These are the times that make us realize

Life is beautiful.

If you want to, you can.

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At the beginning of the school year last fall, I found this quote in my theology book. It spoke directly to my heart, and it still does. 

"In your life, there are two things that do not fit together: your head and your heart. Your intelligence — enlightened by faith — shows you the way clearly. It can also point out the difference between following that way heroically or stupidly. Above all, it places before you the divine greatness and beauty of the undertakings the Trinity leaves in our hands. Your feelings, on the other hand, become attached to everything you despise, even while you consider it despicable. It seems as if a thousand trifles were awaiting the least opportunity, and as soon as your poor will is weakened, through physical tiredness or lack of supernatural outlook, those little things pile up and excite your imagination, until they form a mountain that oppresses and discourages you. Things such as the rough edges of your work, your resistance to obedience; the lack of proper means; the will-o’-the-wisp attractions of an easy life; greater or smaller repugnant temptations; bouts of over-sentimentality; tiredness; the bitter taste of spiritual mediocrity… And sometimes also fear; fear because you know God wants you to be a saint, and you are not a saint. Allow me to talk to you bluntly. You have more than enough “reasons” to turn back, and you lack the resolution to correspond to the grace that He grants you, since He has called you to be another Christ — ipse Christus! — Christ himself. You have forgotten the Lord’s admonition to the Apostle: “My grace is enough for you!”, which is confirmation that, if you want to, you can." — Saint Josemaría Escrivá , Furrow, 166 source Also! Today, hundreds of thousands of people were in Washington D. C. for the March for Life to show the world they will not sit by while abortion takes place in our country. I pray that Saint Josemaría Escrivá would intercede for the world at the throne of Heaven, that we may live to see the end of legalized abortion and crimes against the dignity of human life. Through the Holy Name of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I pray, Amen.

2012 and 2013

I am willing to go out on a limb and say that this has been the best year of my life so far.

So much has happened, I've grown so much, seen so much, and learned so much, its just incredible. 

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Last year on this day I was in Rome, Italy. This time around, my younger sister will be going in January!


So I started off this year in another country. My trip to Rome was the scariest, bravest, hardest, and most exciting thing I've ever done. I went because God asked me to, and I don't know exactly how it changed me, but it did. I got to see the body of St. Clare of Assisi, whom I am named after, I got to see Pope Benedict XVI from about five feet away, and I discovered the most magical substance on the face of the earth...Strawberry Gelato!

A lot of other amazing things happened this year, and terrible, hard things, too.

I moved twice in the past two years, met someone mildly famous who I admire, cut my hair too short three times in a row, went to the funeral of a wonderful friend, saw my first friend for an afternoon, spent a week with my best friend and his family, continued to work at a grocery store, applied for Catholic ministry work, procrastinated and slacked off in my studies, said goodbye to a lot of friends going to college, bought a laptop named Quincy, thought I had my wallet stolen, attended an amazing art class, made Pascal from the movie Tangled out of wire, wrote a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, went to a Britt Nicole concert, saw no movies in the theater, ate my weight in egg roles, rediscovered my favorite musical, caught up with my extended family, read a bunch of stunning books....and basically fell more in love with God.

I am looking forward to 2013. I have an interview in January with a United States based missionary organization, and if I get excepted, I'll spend nine months serving the Church by sharing my faith with young people. I will probably find a new job since mine is starting to cost me due to gas money, and I might actually get a driver's license. Maybe.
I will graduate sometime in the spring, and while I have no plans for going to college yet, I recently took my ACT and will find out my scores soon. My options are open.

I have no idea what God has in store for me, but I'm excited. He has a perfect plan, and He has never, ever let me down. I am secure in Christ, and I will continue to try and serve Him above all things, and become a saint.

As I usually do at the end of each year, I like to pick a favorite song or a song that really sums up how I feel about this year and next year. This is extremely difficult for me as I run on music and its been a whole 365 days of awesome songs. But, like I said, I went to a Britt Nicole concert this past fall, and it was really inspiring for me. Britt Nicole is an amazing young woman who has given God her all, and at her concert she said something kind of awesome. She said that no matter how big our dreams are, God's dreams for us are bigger. That is definitely true for my life; I have no idea where I'm going, I'm dreaming too small. But I will follow God wherever His dreams for me will go.

Basically, Britt Nicole is awesome, and I hope I can see her perform live again someday.

So, my song this year is from her. Enjoy, God Bless you, and Happy New Year 2013!

Things I Learned from NaNoWriMo 2011 and C. S. Lewis

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-- C. S. Lewis

My story for NaNo this year was based on a Grimm Fairy tale, but I foolishly decided I was cool enough to pull a C. S. Lewis and set my story in both the ordinary world, and a magical world. 

C. S. Lewis is my ultimate standard for magical stories. He can make a world outside of reality completely real, and he never lets you forget that there is a God, there is love, and magic is not all-powerful. It is wonderful. But it is also something only the child-like can truly experience.

My story is, quite frankly, awful, and far from the point where any eyes but mine shall see it's horror, but I found, as I wrote, that Charlotte, my 16 year old main character, had, like C. S. Lewis' own characters, gotten too old for magic.

It didn't happen on purpose, trust me. I write what I'm feeling too often, which leaves my characters looking like emotionally spastic teenagers with depression problems (which is a poor reflection of myself, honest). But nevertheless, as I wrote, the woods which Charlotte once believed were magical became 'scary' and the thought of them being anything but ordinary, or frightening, was childish to her.

According to C. S. Lewis, magic is something you grow out of. If you've read the extraordinary Chronicles of Narnia, you know how he incorporated that directly into the books. Characters you love so completely need to leave Narnia...because they've gotten too old for magic.

Fortunately, C. S. Lewis reassured his god-daughter Lucy that someday, she would be able to read fairy tales again. Someday, she could reenter the world of magic.

Indirectly, that's what happens to my main character, Charlotte. She needs to 'grow out' of being 'grown up' before she can see what is truly extraordinary, and except what is 'magical' again.

I love C. S. Lewis, because he never lost his sense of wonder. He suffered extreme sorrow in his life, and like every human being, extreme pain. But he held on to wonder. That is all I ask of all my work as a writer; that it has something wondrous and magical in it at all times, so that it can give all of us who are a little too old for fairy tales a taste of the wonder we're too sophisticated for, no matter how fleeting.

When I eventually go back to my NaNo Novel and try to sort out the genius amid the utter chaos, I know that I'll be taking a lot of C. S. Lewis along with me, just to help Charlotte find her way from point A to point B. I'm already looking forward to next year, and all the time in between where I can write whatever I want!

Hopefully it will all me a little bit wondrous.

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Rest in peace C. S. Lewis, 1898-1963.