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"Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough."
-Ernest Hemingway
Photo taken by my lovely sister Terese.
Houghton Falls, Washburn, WI. Photo taken by my grandmother.
I like Neil Gaiman's answer, but even more so, I like the question. Where do you get ideas?
That's a rather good question.
I've talked to a lot of people who are impressed by the fact that I like to write, and they say something along the lines of: "I want to write a book, but I don't have any good ideas,"
The truth may be that I am not exactly a helpful person, because I always say that EVERYONE has ideas, some people just don't know how to get them out of their heads.
I've always had ideas. I remember when I couldn't read, and I ignored words because they meant nothing to me, I would sit in a very small corner between the fridge and the cupboard in my family's kitchen with the biggest picture book we had. I would sit and I would quietly say what I thought the characters in the pictures were saying - complete with different voices for each character. I was making up stories. I was full of ideas.
That's never gone away; it's gotten stronger. I get ideas from many places. These are the one's off the top of my head...
1. In the shower (I don't know why, but showers are amazing for ideas).
2. Folding laundry (again...don't know why...).
3. Washing dishes (SERIOUSLY. I love washing dishes when I'm in a creative rut.).
4. Song lyrics (Who else has written an entire novel based off one song?).
5. Quotes.
6. Pictures.
7. Listening to people talk about their lives.*
8. Books.
9. Long walks outside.
10. Single words.
11. Scenes from movies.
12. Memories.
13. * Heck, PEOPLE in general.
Every new flower is a story. Every new song is an adventure. Ideas are everywhere. There is no limit to imagination. An idea can come from absolutely anything. I got a story idea from sea monkeys once. I have yet to write that book, but the idea seriously came from sea monkeys.
I love ideas. They blossom from cracks in sidewalks. I once stood on a very small manhole cover labeled WATER and said, "This looks like it could be a time machine,"
See? An idea.
I have this terrible desire to make myself a T-shirt that says "I'LL PUT YOU IN A BOOK SOMEDAY" because every new person is a new idea, who could eventually wind up in another idea, and become a story.
It's very true, what Mr. Gaiman says. Ideas do sometimes just come together like magic in an author's mind. But there's more to it than that.
Ideas are everywhere. You just have to notice them.
This past Monday night, I couldn't sleep. Aside from having drank a large cup of espresso (don't do it), something had happened that was just making me feel so anxious and worried, and I had spent the whole evening trying to cover up that painful feeling of uncertainty.
It wasn't even a big or important thing that happened. It was just that someone had not said something I expected them to, and it made me wonder if I'd done something wrong. But my heart is very sensitive, and that one little thing brought on all the things that had been bothering me for the past few weeks.
When it rains, it pours.
So I was lying in bed, trying to think of creative ways to numb the ache in my heart. And that was when God invited me not to run from my suffering, but to 'enter into it'.
This is something I've been trying to wrap my head around ever since I wrote a very long, in depth paper on redemptive suffering. I started really wondering about pain, and how our pain can lead to healing.
But, when we ARE in pain, the world tells us that the answer is to numb the pain, cover the pain up, make the pain GO AWAY. I believe that no one sets out to suffer. Sometimes people use physical pain to escape the deeper emotional and spiritual pain, but no one WANTS to suffer. That's why we have Tylenol and Advil, right?
In contrast to what the world tells us, God tells us that we must not run from pain. We must truly experience pain by entering into it. We need to go into it and FEEL it, and see where its coming from.
Pain, like fear, never goes away until you treat the cause of it.
So I entered in. I let myself ask, "Why is this bothering me? Why would it be so painful if this thing I'm afraid of happened? Why am I trying to cover it up? And what about all these other things?"
I let myself cry, and I admitted to God, "I need You. I don't know how to make this go away. I don't know how to feel better. I don't know how to fix all these wounds and broken parts in me,"
I don't like pain. Especially emotional and spiritual pain. I avoid pain in ALL its ugly forms wherever I can. Most of all, I avoid things that scare me, because fear is more painful than anything else.
The world tells me that's exactly what I should do. I should never just let pain happen. I should try and avoid it, and when it comes, I should cover it up right away.
But, from now on, I am going to make every effort not to run from pain. Monday night was rough. I didn't want to enter into the labrinth of painful fears and wounds in my heart. It hurt, and I wanted to run away from it.
However, after I'd just sat with the pain for a little while, I saw that it was OKAY to suffer. In fact, it was good to suffer in that particular moment. By not running away from it, by facing it, I was able to accept it. That acceptance made it much easier to bear, and I had a sense that everything would be alright.
I remembered that pain goes away. If we face it, it has an end.
Suffering is hard. It's painful. It's difficult to reconcile with what we believe about God's love for us. It's embarrassing to be vulnerable in our pain to others. It's uncomfortable.
But Christ Himself suffered in the worst way in all of human history, so I will not run away from suffering anymore. I will unite my suffering with His.
On Halloween this year, I had to work all day. My boss told me I could dress up, so I was trying to figure out a good costume. I was originally going to be Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, but I had no sparkly red shoes. Without the shoes, that costume wasn't going to fly.
My second choice was Ms. Frizzle from The Magic School Bus, but it turns out dresses as ugly as that are REALLY hard to find.
So, at the very last minute, I raided my closet and came up with this.
And, as it turned out, I was the only one who dressed up, but it was still a lot of fun. The only bad part was the shoes I decided to wear were killing me two hours into my eight hour shift.
And, yes, I chose to dress up as Eliza with the full knowledge that absolutely NO ONE was going to know who I was. But I was actually wrong; one woman knew immediately who I was. That was pretty cool. But among the other guesses I got:
2 people guessed I was Annie.
3 people thought I was Mary Poppins.
1 guy I work with thought I was someone from Fiddler on the Roof.
1 person guessed 'random homeless person'. Thanks.
And 1 person thought I was a hobo.
I find it interesting that the majority of the guesses were characters from a musical. That made me very happy. I was unmistakably from a musical, the only question was which musical.
For those of you (and by this, Steve, yes, I am talking about you) who don't know who Eliza Doolittle is or where she is from, here's my personal favorite song from the musical My Fair Lady, Wouldn't it Be Loverly.
Eliza is one of my top musical heroines for three reasons:
1. She was played by Audrey Hepburn for the 1964 movie, and by Julie Andrews in the original Broadway production.
That reason could stand on it's own. I mean, really. Audrey Hepburn and Julie Andrews. Enough said. But I do have two more reasons...
2. Eliza isn't a perfect character by any means. She's weird. She can be downright irritating. But she has a strength inside her that makes me love her. She's willing to work for what she wants, and she knows she has dignity and worth, even if she's just a 'poor flower girl'. When she's been 'made into a lady' by Professor Henry Higgins, she says something so profound.
She sums up the truth, that she may very well have been better off selling flowers in the streets:
"I sold flowers. I didn't sell myself.
Now you've made a lady of me, I'm not fit to sell anything else,"
This realization helps her choose that she, herself, and the dignity she possesses, are more useful and important to her than being a lady, or being accepted by high society.
3. She loves Henry Higgins even though he's obnoxious, rude, and abrasive. She brings out the best in Higgins. I love that. I love that she doesn't care whether or not being in love is perfect and rosy for her. She just loves. *
My mom told me I should talk in a cockney accent all day, but I didn't think I could pull it off. Maybe another year. When I'm not at work all day.
Well, Happy Halloween 2013!
*I'm not 100% certain that she doesn't end up with Freddy and not Higgins. I found a synopsis of the movie with a note at the end suggesting that in the original play by George Bernard Shaw, she married Freddy. But in the movie, she pretty much dumps him. Either way, it doesn't negate my point. Eliza is capable of loving even the most unlovable of people.
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, hear us.
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, graciously hear us.
God, the Father of heaven, God the Son, Redeemer of the world, God the Holy Spirit, Holy Trinity, one God,
have mercy on us. have mercy on us. have mercy on us. have mercy on us.
Holy Mary, Holy Mother of God, Holy Virgin of virgins, St. Michael, St. Gabriel, St. Raphael, All you Holy Angels and Archangels, St. John the Baptist, St. Joseph, All you Holy Patriarchs and Prophets,
pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us.
St. Peter, St. Paul, St. Andrew, St. James, St. John, St. Thomas, St. James, St. Philip, St. Bartholomew, St. Matthew, St. Simon, St. Jude, St. Matthias, St. Barnabas, St. Luke, St. Mark, All you holy Apostles and Evangelists, All you holy Disciples of the Lord, All you holy Innocents,
pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us.
St. Stephen, St. Lawrence, St. Vincent, Sts. Fabian and Sebastian, Sts. John and Paul, Sts. Cosmos and Damian, All you holy Martyrs,
pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us.
St. Sylvester, St. Gregory, St. Ambrose, St. Augustine, St. Jerome, St. Martin, St. Nicholas, All you holy Bishops and Confessors, All you holy Doctors,
pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us.
St. Anthony, St. Benedict, St. Bernard, St. Dominic, St. Francis, All you holy Priests and Levites, All you holy Monks and Hermits,
pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us.
St. Mary Magdalene, St. Agatha, St. Lucy, St. Agnes, St. Cecilia, St. Anastasia, St. Catherine, St. Clare, All you holy Virgins and Widows, All you holy Saints of God,
pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us. pray for us.
Lord, be merciful, From all evil, From all sin, From your wrath, From a sudden and unprovided death, From the snares of the devil, From anger, hatred, and all ill-will, From the spirit of uncleanness, From lightning and tempest, From the scourge of earthquake, From plague, famine, and war, From everlasting death,
Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people.
By the mystery of your holy Incarnation, By your Coming, By your Birth, By your Baptism and holy fasting, By your Cross and Passion, By your Death and Burial, By your holy Resurrection, By your wonderful Ascension, By the coming of the Holy Spirit, On the day of judgment,
Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people. Lord, save your people.
Be merciful to us sinners,
Lord, hear our prayer.
That you will spare us, That you will pardon us, That it may please you to bring us to true penance, Guide and protect your holy Church, Preserve in holy religion the Pope, and all those in holy Orders, Humble the enemies of holy Church, Give peace and unity to the whole Christian people, Bring back to the unity of the Church all those who are straying, and bring all unbelievers to the light of the Gospel, Strengthen and preserve us in your holy service, Raise our minds to desire the things of heaven, Reward all our benefactors with eternal blessings, Deliver our souls from eternal damnation, and the souls of our brethren, relatives, and benefactors, Give and preserve the fruits of the earth, Grant eternal rest to all the faithful departed, That it may please You to hear and heed us, Jesus, Son of the Living God,
Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world,
Spare us, O Lord!Graciously hear us, O Lord! Have mercy on us.
Christ, hear us,Lord Jesus, hear our prayer. Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ, graciously hear us Lord Jesus, hear our prayer. Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us.
