Monday, May 23, 2011

A Particularly Special Kind of Stupid...

...was exhibited today in our neighborhood.

Three delinquents strolled casually around town with BB guns, shooting birds.

Um, excuse me?
I don't care if it's a BB gun and technically won't kill anyone! It is a weapon and you DO NOT walk around playing with it, shooting harmless birds FOR FUN, in people's yards!

Oh, dude, the ASPCA would have had SUCH a field day with those three.

My mother, sister, and I were just ticked. We wanted to go out and yell at them, knock their heads together, and call the police. And according to this, what they were doing wasn't even LEGAL. Not only were they walking around town, those kids SO were not 16!

Seriously, who thinks that's a good idea!? What parent considers random acts of animal cruelty wholesome fun!? And I don't even LIKE birds!! But there's just something about boys shooting them 'till they're pretty much dead, and than picking them up and carrying them off. Any time anyone is deliberately cruel to someone totally at a disadvantage, it REALLY gets under my skin.

Poor little birds!

And my little brother was cranky because, since there were kids with guns (BB guns, yes, but still) being morons outside our door, our mother wouldn't let him go out and play.

If I was a foot taller, and actually looked my age, I probably would have gone out and given them a piece of my mind.

That is really a very special kind of stupid. Also, a very INFURIATING kind of stupid.

Ok. Rant over. I'm done now.

Thank you.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

I Forgot To Dance

You know that uber-cheesy and cliche saying:

'Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain.' ??

Awww! How sickeningly motivational!

And yet...kind of true.

Don't you hate that?

Isn't it just outside of enough that life would actually FIT one of those overused stereotypes?

*dies of shame*

But, anyway, there you go.

To put it in plain language and without any pussyfooting around, today really sucked.

A list. Because lists are fun.

1. I need summer shoes.

2. I need shorts.

3. I've gone to town TWICE this week already.

4. I got nothing.

5. I need a job.


7. I want to go to Rome with my youth group in the winter, yet I'm really anxious about it...

8. ...because I'm short $1600+.

9. Emotional hysteria/breakdown.

10. SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And yet, I can't help but think right now, "Man. What if I had just let it all go, sobbed hysterically, and danced atrociously around the house, or even the store, just because I was feeling bad and deserve a little insanity???"

What if I had let myself trust and hope and not let these petty things get me so upset?

What if I had prayed instead of pouted?

What if I had counted my blessings rather than my needs?

What if I had written myself a sticky note that said in bold, red letters: RELAX!!!!!!

Worth pondering.

So I'll tie a figurative string around my finger, in hopes that the next time the torrential downpours of life decides to hover right over me, I'll remember to dance.

Or at least take pictures.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Changing Seasons...

My big sister, Catherine, is home from her incredible journey on NET!!!!

I have missed her so much, and now she's back with us.

SO MUCH has changed since she left for NET 9 months ago.

We moved. That was the big one.

Our little baby brothers have gotten SO big!

We met new, crazy people and did new, crazy things!

Things change, sometimes for the better.

CATHERINE has changed.

She now loves hot sauce and spicy food.

She says "Yeah we did!" ALLL the time.

She says "Sick" where we used to say "cool"

She plays that guitar like NOBODY'S business!

And most of all, she's grown even more beautiful, faithful and amazing than she was before.

Welcome home, Catherine.

I love you : ).

Monday, May 9, 2011

The Glorious Wonder of Sidewalk Chalk

Yesterday, I reverted about ten years and poured my heart out on a sidewalk.

It was beautiful.

Aw, sidewalk chalk. I must admit, it had been a really, really long time since I plopped down on the sidewalk and doodled with a colored powdery stick.

My three youngest siblings were outside with a big old box of chalk...and, well...let's just say, we all went a little nuts.

We've lived on farmsteads with little to no sidewalk most of our lives...can you really blame us?

Mm hm...lyrics to Taylor Swift's 'Mine'.

I named this cat Puss. My younger sister renamed him Mr. Pretty Ferkins. Huh.

I hate cats. Why did we draw cats? Why??

Lips, eyes, nose...boredom.

Meg is awesome.

Yes. Those are my pants after all this. My little brother was only too happy to take a picture for posterity.

The chalk-ness was fully embraced by myself. I added the heart and sun on the top...the rest just happened because I knelt out on the sidewalk for like, 45 minutes having the time of my life.

Oh...just never grow up! : )

Sunday, May 8, 2011

To Mothers...

Things Moms do that no one else can:

* Naturally, have kids. That's what makes them mothers.

* Wear spit up, drool, snot, baby food, Biter Biscut, milk, and muck like a fashion statement.

* Look a snotty, screaming toddler in the mouth and calmly pick it up and go on with life.

* Go shopping with their children, including the 2 year olds who want everything they see and scream when they don't get it.

* March tall and proud into church and sit in the front row with all 2, 5, 7, 9, 14 of their children, helpfully ignoring the 'RESERVED FOR FAMILIES WITH SMALL CHILDREN' pews in the very back.

* Homeschool their children from kindergarten to senior year.

* Deal with their hormonal teenagers and love them all even when they're being total brats.

* Love. Nobody can love like a Mom.

My Mom has done all this and more. I love her. Happy Mother's Day!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Masked Offender Strikes Again!

I wish everyone could be familiar with The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. Dude, I was RAISED on that show. Its corny, unintelligent, ridiculous, and absolutely wonderful.

Anyway, in the fourteenth episode in these series, Tigger decides to dress up as a super hero called The Masked Offender. Basically, he goes around irritating people and destroying property. You know. What Tiggers normally do.

Anyway, today, my little sister Ella must have been finally feeling better from the allergies she's been suffering from, because she put on a cape and ran around the house yelling, "MASKED OFFENDER, AWAY!!!"

She took it slower farther and farther, being particular torturous to my sister Meg and I, until we were locking our doors to keep her out and finish our schoolwork. Unfortunately, the Masked Offender knows how to get doors open using only a spoon.

Finally, we figured, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

And that was before Ella completed her costume!

Oh yes she did.

She also very kindly distributed autographs and provided us all with a phone number so that she could be reached in emergencies. How very sweet.

Continuous adorable hi jinks ensued. She would throw something into my room from the bathroom door, and come in a short while later to collect it. Getting somewhat tired of this, I hid the card with a horse picture on it in my desk before she came back.

She came in, looked around, and said, "Have you seen that...thingy?"

I decided to be witty and use Tangled references. "I've hidden it. Somewhere you will never find it."

She grinned, looking around very carefully and thoroughly for a long time. Finally, she said, "Its in that pot, isn't it!?"


She found it pretty quickly after that, so the next time she threw something in (that amusing toy phone she's holding in the pictures above), I hid it BEHIND my desk.

She came back in.

"Ok...where is it now?"

"Now it is hidden somewhere you will never find it."

She looked around for a long time, and than said, "You finally got good at hiding stuff. That's good and bad!"

Ah, little children. How I love them.

Rock on Ella and Winnie the Pooh!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Sharing is Caring

Or something like that.

No, no, I do think sharing is important! I share most of my own belongings, from clothes to gum to erasers. And STORIES. Oh yes. Stories should be shared.

Someone shared this story/blog with me, and I wanted to keep the sharing going and get these three really cool ladies some followers.

This blog, The Lost Scribes, looks amazingly cool, and I can't wait to read the story!, laugh, love, and write.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Writer Spilleth Her Guts

Writing update! (If anyone cares...)

Snow White (or Mirror, Mirror) continues to go well. I wrote parts of the ending pretty early on so I wouldn't go meandering off into the Forest of Death or something like that. When writing, if you don't know where you're going, as Toby Keith says, you might end up somewhere else. Baby its just a mirror of my emotional state at the time, but this book, especially the ending, has a lot of surprises and emotional manglement*.

Speaking of emotional manglement*, my newest plot, which is entitled Where Your Story Ends... is probably more heart wrenching than anything I've ever thought up.

It's the life story of Malcolm O'Rourke, a 70-something year old man, and 17-yr-old Eugenia 'Genie' Lott, who finished it for him. 51 years prior to this particular chapter of Mal's life, he was given a magical pen and book as a gift. These enabled him, if he so chose, to literally write the story of his life. Mal jumped at the chance.

Alas, we find him, half a decade later, having fled from his 'ideal' life to try and escape from his countless mistakes.

Unfortunately, anyone who writes their life story in the book must add to it every fifteen years...and especially now, because Mal has written so much, he must write the ending! This doesn't at all mean he's doomed to die any time soon, but he must write out the details of his ending.

Mal knows he can't do this. So he asks his best friend, Genie, to write it for him.

It's a really sad and complex story, because Mal has to go back and face all the mistakes he made in his life, and he has to show Genie, too. Mirror, Mirror is my top priority right now, but I'll definitely be coming back to this one.

So, that's my life when it comes to writing right now. I'm also currently proof-reading a story for a friend of mine, which has been really fun. She's so very talented and her story is awesome!

Cheers...happy spring, or fall, depending where you are in the world : ).

(* Note: MANGLEMENT is not a word.)

Sunday, May 1, 2011

What I Have Learned From Dr. Seuss and Shakespeare, Part Two

Yesterday was madness. Craziness. AWESOMENESS.

Because I am lame, and because I took the job WAY too seriously, I made myself a hat:

Double-stick tape. It's a beautiful thing.

Anyway, Friday night I was so excited I couldn't get to sleep. I was playing scenes of the play over in my head, praying I'd be a good stage manager and no one would hate me by the end of the performance. (See, I told you I was taking the job too seriously!).

Saturday morning was a blur of breakfast and getting ready to go.

Lunch was delicious, but I was a little preoccupied.

Finally, we got out the door.....and I screamed and ran STRAIGHT back into the house because I, like a genius, remembered my hat, but forgot my Props List.

The costumes were FANTASTIC, and finally, everybody had theirs!

Baret and Rachel had a little too much fun with their 'narrator' roles : ).

For the dress rehearsal, I was running all over the place, feeling scattered and disorganized. A list of things that went wrong:

* David forgot to leave his baby costume on until AFTER exiting the stage.
* A baby bonnet was left on the stage for half the play.
* Juliet needed help with her hair and we just couldn't get it up...and since we never practiced this, Emma and I were trying to do her hair AND make sure everyone had their props.
* The boys forgot to put their masks DOWN for the party scene, and Michael took Alex's mask, so he didn't even HAVE one.
* We never practiced taping corn to the girl's shoes. Oh, gosh. DISASTER. Corn was falling off the stage.
* My stupid CD player decided not to work when I tried to start the first song, and it came on about halfway through the scene. AGH.
* Nolan forgot to scream.
* There was some spastic acting going on...oy.
* I ran into like, three things backstage.
* The death-faking nuts apparently didn't make it on the first try (I didn't even know this 'till after!).
* And most shaming of all, to me, at least, JP's costume change was a TOTAL flop. He came out with his costume only half on...I was supposed to help him but didn't get onstage in time (I was going down to the sound cage...sheesh!).

This may have left some feeling panicked. I know I felt panicked! So, being the crazy person that I am, I sat down with the script and props list and wrote, step by step, everything I had to do.

Weird, right?


Theresa went over our notes, and I asked if she could run the music for me. She graciously said yes. PHEW. What a relief.

We went out and had cast pictures taken. Emma, Holly and I, 'The Women in Black' (aka stage hands), felt so proud to be included.

Than we hurried back onstage...and GASP! People were already in the audience! The curtain was drawn, so Emma had to grab me and tell me to stop talking so loud because people could hear me. Oops.

We got the props organized and I practiced the costume change with JP.

Butterflies set in. My stomach was all tight, but I was so massively excited, I didn't care.

Terese started to panic. "I don't think I can do it!" Oh, please, Sweetie. You're a ham. You'll be amazing.

Lizzie got a nosebleed she was so nervous, but she, too, was prepared and was going to be fabulous.

We were all a little frazzled. It was finally showtime.


Was it perfect?


Of COURSE things went wrong.

Such as...

* Narrator #1 forgot one line, but it wasn't vital, so they kept going.
* A balloon popped (and sounded like a sonic boom for pete's sake!) backstage by accident.
* At one point, I nearly had a heart attack, thinking I'd LOST one of the kids. "Where is Georgia!? Has anyone seen Georgia!?" (She was sitting on the side with her mom, so I quickly ran out and got her for the party scene.)
* Alex had to be shoved forward 30 seconds AFTER he should have said his line, but, hey.
* I forgot to take Nolan by the shoulders, shake him, and tell him to SCREAM. David had to remind him...and it wasn't his best scream, definitely. You're DYING for crying out loud! SCREAM!
* Terese and Michael failed to come on AT ALL so Alex had to drag Nolan off by himself.
* The darn saltine crumbled up in David's pocket. Ugh.

But it was just incredible.

We worked so hard for a week, and than, we did it. We pulled it off. I had the time of my life. I love all those kids, and I hope I get to see them again sooner than next year.

Theresa asked me if I might consider acting next year, and I said I was already thinking about it. It was crazy fun.

To Dr. Seuss and William made this past week of my life really epic.

A couple very blurry pictures from the dress rehearsal : ).

(Curtain falls. Blackout. End of play.)