Being Organized

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Ok, so...that's what my 'being organized' looks like.

Pretty ugly, huh?

But, seriously, that's what I do. I am only sane if I am in a complete frenzy to keep everything under control.

Note I said SANE, not CALM. Or HAPPY. Or NORMAL.

That's pretty much what I do when I'm not organized, too. The two about the same to everyone else.

Its a real shame, but I am a complete OCD control freak.

Just yesterday, my mother was trying to find photographic proof that Carter Oosterhouse was really married, and I stood behind her and said, "Do you want me to do it so it doesn't take five years?"

Needless to say, she gave me a most withering look and came very close to taking away my Internet privileges for five years.

That's a little bit beside the point, which is that I have a ridiculous need to control everything around me.

I read somewhere once that WORRY is a brain mechanism, where you subconsciously believe that if you give something enough of your attention, you can fix it.

I think that about sums up my personality.

But think about the average life of a teenager: school, work, family, extra-curricular activities, sleep, eat, stress.

Being organized helps me to focus on what's important. Unfortunately, for a very long time now it has given me a false sense of control.

I am trying to slowly just give up.

Surrender.

I can't fix everything. I can't do anything but pray sometimes.

God's got it under control.

Just think...if I surrendered, if I stopped trying to 'worry' everything into order, I might someday be so unstressed, I won't need to be organized.

Until that miracle happens, here's to effort, and to doing the very best we can.