Christmas 2013 - The Reason for My Hope

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On December 14th, I celebrated my 19th birthday. It was an amazing day, especially because I was able to spend it with my boyfriend and his family. 

But I received a special blessing on my birthday this year while I was at Mass that night. I was praying, reflecting on Advent, how we are waiting, not only to celebrate Christ's birth, but also anticipating Him coming again. 

And I suddenly realized: "This is why we have any hope in this world."

If Jesus had not come, and if He does not return, we are helpless. We have no hope for a future. We are only living for ourselves in the moment - nothing matters without the redemption that comes from Jesus, our Emmanuel. 

I had great peace in reflecting on the fact that God sent His only son to be needy and poor - to be an infant - to redeem us in our fallen humanity. 

I don't know if I'll have any more updates until after I am back from Rome in January, so I hope that you are filled with the Spirit of Christmas, and the joy of the Christ Child, today, and all throughout the new year. 

See you in 2014 - and, rejoice, for unto us is born a Savior! 

"Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope."

1 Peter 3: 15

Things get better

I keep coming across these things on my tumblr...

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okay this is probably going to sound stupid but i wonder how it feels to be one of those pretty girls who get hundred of notes or likes on pictures of their faces

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And all this does one thing for me; it breaks my heart, because they all made me realize something. That's where I was 4 years ago.

And so, I would just love to tell anyone who feels like that:

Things get better. 

It does. You move on from those moments of being lonely and having no friends. You make it past the pain and the sorrow and the isolation.

Things get better.

Maybe it takes a long time, but it happens. 

You meet new people who are way nicer to the ones who ignored you or treated you badly. 

You find people who admire you and love you for qualities that maybe you can't see.

Things get better.

You're not always going to be here. You're not always going to feel like no one understands you, and no one is like you. You're not as alone as you think.

Things get better. 

I promise. 

Reasons for Rejoicing

Why rejoice?

Why bother?

Life is full of awful things; rape, theft, murder, betrayal, denial, greed, selfishness, accidents, disasters, suffering, misery, despair, and ultimately: death.

So, why rejoice?

As Christians, we are practically ORDERED to rejoice:


"Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice." Philippians 4:4


But obviously we can't rejoice without a reason. 


So the question is:


IS there a reason to rejoice.


Yes. Yes, there is.


My reason for rejoicing is that I have been given hope. I have hope that God's love never fails, and will never abandon me or forsake me, no matter what I do. No matter how hopeless I seem or how alone I may feel, I have hope that by God's grace, I will make it to Heaven where I will never be afraid again.


This is the reason for my hope. And I rejoice.

"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." - 1 Peter 3:15


God bless NET team #7 and the DYC staff who put on an amazing retreat for my diocese yesterday. Thank you for your love and example; thank you for reminding us to rejoice.

What am I doing right?

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Sometimes.....

Ever have one of those weeks (months...YEARS...) where you just feel like you're doing everything wrong?

If I'm not careful, I fall into a rut. I start dwelling on all this uncertainty, and all these fears, and all these failures.

I'm not loving people enough.

I'm loving certain people too much.

I'm going to die of a horrible disease.

I'm unlovable.

I'm ugly.

I'm lazy.

I'll never be good enough.

You feel lonely, so you believe you're alone.

I keep feeling like something is wrong.

My mother once told me, "Feelings aren't real."

I don't believe that's true, but I do believe that isn't literally what she meant.

What I think she meant was that reality isn't about how we feel. Just because you feel you're doing the right thing, doesn't mean you are. The truth and the way we feel are sometimes inseparable. Other times they're miles apart.

In the words of Lady Antebellum, I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

But I'd rather feel loved than feel alone.

How can I escape this vicious cycle? How can I bear this cross? It is so much heavier than I believe I can bear.

When I feel like I'm doing everything wrong, I struggle with the question, what am I doing right?

Why am I still here?

Do I deserve to be loved?

Will I carry this cross forever?

I could carry it if God would help me lift it.

To quote a most beautiful and touching song, I have to believe that 'as I carry this cross, You'll carry me'. Carry Me (Audrey Assad).

To believe such as this...it must be doing something right.