When I was little, I could say the words school and pool perfectly. When I learned to say cooler, I started saying schooler and pooler. Kind of a step backwards, wouldn't you say?
Well, unfortunately, that trend continues for me.
On my list of Summer Goals (which, coincidentally only has two things checked off of it), I grudgingly decided to write, Stay mentally and practically prepared for school.
Let me explain something about K. Academy Homeschooling. It is referred to as classical education. What this basically means is reading a lot of long, not so interesting books that edify you and make you a better educated and more well-rounded person.
I love this concept! I hate doing it.
Well...to be perfectly honest, I actually loved some of it! As much as I complained about Shakespeare, The Iliad, The Aeneid, and many others, I actually loved a lot of things about them.
It was Freshman year that killed me.
Classical education goes in chronological order. Meaning that I had to read the oldest, most atrocious of ancient literature my first year of high school.
Ever since, I've been living in this 'I hate school with every fiber of my being' mentality.
Last year, my family moved towards the end of the school year. My mom became even more stressed and busy than ever, and she didn't have time to help me a lot. Because we were trying to move, she got behind on grading, so I never knew if I was doing great, or failing completely. The two subjects I struggled most with, math and French, basically went out the window and drowned in the well.
This is nobodies fault but my own; I should have been far more proactive about my school. I let a lot of things go. My papers were short and sloppy, and I hardly ever edited them.
Looking back, I'm mad at myself about how my school year went. It could have been so much better, so much more, but I got hung up on excuses and eventually just didn't try at all. I floated along on a cloud of delusion that I could get away with doing as little as possible and still have a fulfilling school year. Scratch that: I didn't care at all about my school year being fulfilling, I just wanted to get it done.
Well, I got it done, but now I'm standing here staring back at Algebra and French Year 1 with insurmountable horror.
If I couldn't even get through last year without checking all the answers and asking Google for more help than you'd imagine, how am I going to get through this year, now that I've actually come to care more about school?
And...why did I start caring?
Well...I don't know. I guess I realized that I only get one shot at every moment in life, and after wasting a whole school year being mediocre, I'd had enough. I want to do my best! Come to think of it, if every single thing I do, God sees and takes into account in Heaven, why wouldn't I try to do better? Why would I choose not to try at all?
It's going to be challenging. I'm going to need to kick myself in the butt every day just to keep going, but I'm willing to do it. Because I'm uncertain what I'll do after high school, I need to be ready for anything. If I go to college, I'll be in trouble because I'll still be floundering in the pot holes of my slacking high school years. If I don't go to college, I'll be in even bigger trouble...I'll be alone with my spotty education against the world!
So maybe that's a little dramatic, but if you feel at the end of the year you didn't actually retain anything from a class...well, for me, that was a big problem. I passed, but I didn't pass on my own. I checked answers to the point that could probably be considered cheating and I would say I understood things just to get them out of the way.
Clearly, I'm going to need a lot of help.
Well, I've got God on my side, and my ever present TO DO list. The written word of the TO DO list is absolutely sacred to me. The written word of the GOALS list is even more sacred.
GOALS/TO DO FOR SCHOOL YEAR '11-'12:
* Work on improving handwriting so mother can actually read it.
* EDIT PAPERS!
* Work harder.
* Squeeze every ounce of education out of each subject within an inch of it's life.
* Stop slacking.
* Get to sleep/get up earlier.
* Be flexible but firm...no rushing just to get stuff done!
* Pursue help rather than giving up and guessing.
But, it's worth it. Its time for me to stop taking advantage of school, and my mom, and actually take initiative in my education. I refuse to go through life as a poorly educated slob because I was too lazy to try harder.
So, here's to the big red letters I'll soon write on September 5th on my calender: SCHOOL STARTS.
Bring it on.