Saturday, August 4, 2012

Fearfully and Wonderfully

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I learned this yesterday. 

I woke up with about 20 minutes to roll out of bed, eat, and head out the door to babysit for our neighbor's twin girls. 

Oops. 

So I scrambled out of bed, took my hair out of the French braid I slept in, and looked at my face. 

I faced reality. 

"There is no time to put makeup on."

And that was fine; I was just going to be seen by my neighbors and two 2-yr-old girls who care a lot more about Bambi than what their babysitter looks like. 

But then, a crazy idea popped into my head. 

"I'm just not going to wear any makeup today. Not even when I go to work at the grocery store."

My brain immediately yelped:
"NAY!"

Okay...my brain does not speak in old English. 

"NO! Bad idea! Don't do it! What will people think!"

But I wanted to. I wanted to prove to myself I really am beautiful just as I am.

At the same time, I'm angry that I needed to prove that to myself.

I continually struggle with my identity as God's daughter. I don't need to be defined by anything external. I am beautiful inside and out just by being me. 

But I did do it. And I didn't look ugly. I didn't look 'pretty'.

I just looked like me.

And I had never felt more beautiful. 

 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful..."
Psalm 139: 14



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