Saturday, June 11, 2011

Picking Up Where We Left Off...

I really hate two-part episodes in life. this case, umpteenth-part episodes. Situations and relationships where you have to stop and start constantly, just because of distance and poor communication skills and busy, busy, business!

Long-distance friendships are really hard....and currently, most of my friendships are just that. Very, VERY long-distance. Hence the on-again off-again thing I do so detest.

So what's a girl to do?

Today I called up my first and best friend, the one who I must find a better nick-name for than Squishy for heaven's sake. We'll call her Kara : ). Anyway...I hadn't talk to Kara in months. We'd texted briefly, but that doesn't count at all. I couldn't hear her voice and know what she was thinking and feeling. So it was amazing to talk to her today. I hadn't realized just how much I missed her until than.

We're very alike, but just different enough that we don't want to kill each other. I love her so much, because even though we have very different families and lifestyles, we understand each other and talk about absolutely anything.

Every once in a while, I get really scared of losing people I love. She is one of the people I have this little nightmare about...that someday we'll just have lost track of each other and never see or hear from the other again. It could happen. We live very far apart and hardly ever see each other.

So that's why I hate the to be continued things in life. There's all that time in between for something to go wrong...for someone to stop loving you.

I don't know why I'm so afraid of that. Its one of those fears I've just always had. No one has ever abandoned me or really scarred why this irrational fear of losing people?

Maybe it's just who I am. Its a hard fear to live with, but I'm still here, so it must not be lethal.

And even though I hate the breaks in between, I will never stop trying to keep in touch with these people. I could never just give up on people I've loved so much and for so long.

I have concluded that hope is what keeps people alive. If you don't keep hoping, you can't keep going for very long. So I hope and I pray and I refuse to give up on love. Love can't be repaid, only given away. Its never wasted, no matter how little you get in return.

So, here's to picking up where we left off. Hopefully, someday, we won't have to wait so long in between.

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