Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Monday, October 14, 2013

Favorite Color - PERFORMANCE POST


Molly K. (Sophie) kissing Aidan D. (Thomas)


Holy smokes. I just got back yesterday from what has now taken the honored spot of 'most amazing thing that's happened to me' in my life.

I got to attend both performances, Friday and Saturday, of the One Act Play Festival at the Words Players theater in Rochester, Minnesota.

RECAP:
As those who read my blog know, I wrote a short play called Favorite Color about a girl who tries to teach a blind boy about color through senses other than sight. It was so much fun, and I loved the story. Despite some rather crushing criticism, I couldn't be convinced that it wasn't beautiful, and I submitted it to Words Players, hoping they would choose it for the One Act Plays.

Not long after submitting Favorite Color, I learned that Words Players might be closing. I was upset at the thought of the theater closing down, and not actually because that would mean my play would never have a chance of being seen on a stage.

No - I was upset because, for me, it was a truly devastating thought that an organization as special and unique as Northland Words might be disappearing from the world. Fortunately, through donations, support, and prayers, the theater was able to stay open and the One Act Play festival would go on.

I learned that my play had been selected while I was at work on September 9th, 2013.

This past Friday, my Dad drove me to Rochester for the opening night of the One Act Plays...of my play.

I got to meet the most incredible people as soon as I walked into the theater. One of my fellow playwrights, a man named John Byrne, greeted me and immediately asked me about my play. It's cool and unusual for me to meet someone and have them just understand this weird thing that I did: write words for actors to repeat and walk around to.

Everyone was happy to see me - surprisingly so. I really did not expect so many people - directors, actors, audience members, staff - to approach me and tell me how happy they were that I came. I knew or recognized quite a few people from previous times that I'd been there, and for some reason I always feel at home when I walk into that place.

I was also surprised by the enthusiastic response of my family and friends who were there. My grandparents, my godfather, and my boyfriend's mom, grandma, and younger siblings came. The second night, my mom and all but 3 of my siblings came. It was so awesome to be able to share it with them.

My play was the second one performed both nights, and I cannot even express how perfect the cast was. A friend of mine, Abby, played the mother (or, in the case of the second performance, sister) character, which I couldn't have been happier about. I've known her as long as I've known Words Players, and it really was a blessing for her to be a part of it. Sophie Rood, my feisty female protagonist, was played by a wonderful young lady named Molly. Molly is seriously like Sophie come to life - she was absolutely, spot-on perfect. Thomas White was played by Aidan, and he made the character so believable. It was almost like watching a real conversation between two people.

And the strangest thing was, I had never before been able to imagine my play actually being performed. I had never been part of theater in any big way before, so it seemed to me that Favorite Color could never smoothly transition from words on a page to a performance. But it did. It was beautiful.

I don't want to sound pompous, but, of all seven plays, mine was my favorite. I enjoyed mine the most. Not just because I wrote it, but because the actors just ran with it and made it so completely delightful. I enjoyed seeing the play I had written really come to life.

I got to meet the cast of my play, and the young lady who directed it. It was like meeting long-lost friends. I immediately loved all of them, because they were part of something I had made. The second performance had a few changes, because after the first night, we talked about some of the ideas they'd had - they thought about changing Abby's character from the mother to the sister, so that she could be texting while she was supposed to be leading Thomas safely through the park. I told them I would love to see that, so on Saturday night, they did it.

Seated: Clare Speltz, author of FAVORITE COLOR
Standing: Abby Kuhlmann, Aidan Driscoll, director Valerie Sauder, Molly Kiley

Abby, Aidan, Valerie, Molly, and I.

There is so much more. So much. This was the greatest experience and biggest blessing of my life. I can't fit it all in one blog post; the things that were said and all the emotions I felt. And it really wasn't even that big of a deal; I wrote an 8 minute play, three kids performed it twice, and I just so happened to be there. 

But, when I had been told that my play was terrible, and I was sitting in front of my laptop, trying to weigh the criticism I'd received and trying to decide whether or not to scrap the whole thing, there was something that I asked God for very specifically. I asked that it would not get accepted by Words Players unless it would bring Him glory and honor. I said, "This is not mine, this is Yours. I give it to You." And if there was one thing that this play was, to me, and to so many people, it was a blessing. I have never felt so blessed by an experience before, and I know that is because my prayer was answered. My play brought God glory and honor in some small way, and that makes it a big deal. At least to me.

Sometime last year, I wrote these words on the top of a page in my writing notebook:

It may not change the world, 
but it changes you.

I wasn't even sure what I meant by this, until now. My play, and the experience of having it chosen and performed, may not have changed the world. But it has changed me. It has rekindled a fire in me that I was letting die out. It has shown me the power of completing something, and being brave enough to send it out into the world, and see what comes back.

If you would like to see my play, you can! The second performance was captured on tape and posted online. 


Also, if you would like to watch the Talk Back discussion I took part in after the performance, it is here

I hope you enjoy it - let me know! 

The question people have been asking me since Friday night is this: will I keep writing plays?

Absolutely. I may never stop. I never thought of having plays performed as a form of publication, but now I think it may be the best form. When a book gets published, everyone reads the same words. When a play is performed, every performance is unique. Little things are always new and better. I know of at least one woman who might die of joy if I wrote a play for the homeschool group my siblings are in, so that might be a good place to start. 


Abby Kuhlmann, author of JOURNEY TO MADRID, and Clare Speltz, author of FAVORITE COLOR


Abby and I, grinning because we're playwrights and we know it.

Thank you to everyone who has been a part of this in any way at all. 

Thank you Dad for being my biggest fan. Thank you Dad, Mom, and Anna for your editing and critiquing. Thank you Amy for being excited for me and with me. Thank you Steve for believing in me. Thank you Words Players for choosing my play. Thank you Valerie for directing it. Thank you Molly for being the best Sophie I could ask for. Thank you Aidan for being a perfect Thomas. Thank you Abby for being willing to take the role of mother/sister when someone else dropped out, and for being such a good friend. Thank you to Tim and Juliet for coming when I never imagined you would. Thank you Terri, Sandy, Maggie and Joe, for coming even though I'm just your son/grandson/brother's girlfriend. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa for coming and telling me my play was the best, even if it wasn't true. Thank you Catherine for coming all the way from West Saint Paul just for my play. Thank you Mom for coming all the way from home. Thank you Meg, for coming even though it was crazy inconvenient. Thank you Joe, Terese, and Ella for being so patient while I chatted till way past your bedtime. Thank you Daved Driscoll for being so generous with your time and opening up many doors for me to pray about. Thank you to everyone who went out of their way to tell me they loved it. Thank you to everyone whose name I may have forgotten, because I have not forgotten you. 
And thank you, for all your prayers and support. It means so much. 






Monday, September 30, 2013

Come to Me - Goo Goo Dolls

Forgive this band for having a strange name. Please.

I have been a fan of the Goo Goo Dolls pretty much my entire life. This is probably because my mother loved them ever since they were featured in an episode of Sesame Street. Amazing how that works out. 

I heard this song just this morning on my way to work, and I said, "This is a cool song. It sounds like John Rzeznick," (The lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls)

My mother didn't think so. "Hm. It sounds like him, but I don't think it is,"

"I think its the Goo Goo Dolls,"

She didn't think so. 

Cue DJ at the end of the song, verifying that it was, indeed, the Goo Goo Dolls.

This might be the most beautiful song I've heard by them.

Enjoy : )


You and me, we've both got sins
I don't care about where you've been
Don't be sad and don't explain
This is where we start again

Monday, September 16, 2013

The Weight of Glory


holding hands gif | via Tumblr
"There are no ordinary people. 
You have never talked to a mere mortal. 
Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. 
But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. 
This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. 
We must play. 
But our merriment must be of that kind 
(and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) 
which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously — no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. 
And our charity must be real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner—no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. 

Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses."

The Weight of Glory - C. S. Lewis





Saturday, September 14, 2013

Beneath Your Beautiful - Labrinth feat. Emeli Sandé


This is my current favorite song. I have four versions of it pinned to my Music board on Pinterest. I know all the words. I have read very deep meaning into it that might not have been intended by the song's author.

Sometimes,  I don't feel good enough for myself, so I don't believe I'm good enough for someone else. So I put on masks, and build walls. I hide my imperfections behind my 'beautiful'...until I find someone who insists that they see beneath it.


This song.



You tell all the boys "No"
Makes you feel good, yeah.
I know you're out of my league
But that won't scare me away, oh, no

You've carried on so long,
You couldn't stop if you tried it.
You've built your wall so high
That no one could climb it,
But I'm gonna try.

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?
Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl
I wanna see inside
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

You let all the girls go
Makes you feel good, don't it?
Behind your Broadway show
I heard a boy say, "Please, don't hurt me"

You've carried on so long,
You couldn't stop if you tried it.
You've built your wall so high
That no one could climb it,
But I'm gonna try.

(Chorus)

I'm gonna climb on top your ivory tower
I'll hold your hand and then we'll jump right out
We'll be falling, falling but that's OK
'Cause I'll be right here
I just wanna know...

(Chorus)


Saturday, July 27, 2013

Early Birdie

As miraculous as it may seem, I had never heard this Owl City song before this evening.

-


I'd ask but we don't know
How far these interstates go
Or how deep the city routes go down
In chilly subdepth railways
The weathered concrete stairways
Provide me with the means of getting home
If I ever leave.




_




Monday, July 22, 2013

Cookies for Clare

Today I went to work for the first time in a week. 

I was scheduled 10-4, which was rather inconvenient for everyone (meaning myself and my parents) because, if I only worked later, my dad could pick me up and my mom wouldn't have to make an extra trip to town.

Well, without any effort or gumption on my part, I managed to pick up 3 extra hours and stay until 7! Go me! I was fine with that because it meant I got three breaks instead of one, which is always nice, especially when you aren't feeling 100%, anyway.

Apparently this was a much bigger deal to my parents than a realized, because when my dad heard I had managed to pick up hours, he told my mom to make me cookies.

And she did.

They are amazing.






Don't quote me, but I BELIEVE they are oatmeal chocolate chip. There appears to be coconut in them, too. Whatever is in them, they're just really, really good.

I think this is the first time anyone has made cookies for me personally.

Its a wonderful feeling. 

The cookies are also a perfect way to celebrate the fact that it is my feast day! Today is the feast of St. Mary Magdalene, who I chose as my confirmation saint!


I hope your week has gotten off to as great a start as mine. 



Saturday, July 20, 2013

Reasons Why I am Beautiful

I am beautiful :)

I have made myself a promise. 

I am not going to talk, think, or act like I am not beautiful. 

Because I am. 

Denying that I am beautiful hurts me and it hurts the people who see the most beauty in me. 

I may not be perfect yet, but that is only because I have not fully become who I was made to be yet. 

But that doesn't make me any less beautiful.

So today, I made a list of all the reasons why I am beautiful. 

Here it is. 

Reasons Why I am Beautiful:

* God made me in His image and likeness, and who is more beautiful than God?

* I am a woman - the pinnacle of all Creation.

* I possess Feminine Genius.

* I am confident.

* I have long red hair.

* I have big brown eyes.

* I have freckles.

* I have a lovely smile that I use often. 

* I am honest.

* There is a great deal of love in my heart.

* There will never be another me, so no one can set a standard for how I should look. As long as I am the best version of myself, I am perfect. 



Stay beautiful.






Sunday, June 16, 2013

Father's Day 2013


I pray that God would give strength to all fathers today, but especially mine, to be able lead and love their families as they are called to. 

I love my dad. He has always been there for me. He has always prayed for me. He is so proud of me. He is my biggest fan. I have never doubted that I am precious to him, and that he wants nothing but the best for me in both this life and the next.

He is not perfect, and there have been times when I've been very angry and frustrated with him. But he is so good at loving me, and all my siblings. He has showed us, imperfectly, but genuinely, how we deserve to be loved and cared for. 

I stole this idea for a Father's Day card, and here's how it turned out --






Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you and I am so grateful for the ways you have helped to make me who I am. 

God bless you. : )


Thursday, June 13, 2013

Life Is Beautiful

I don't think my life has ever been quite this beautiful, and I can't wait to see where it goes. 


These are things that make us feel alive
These are the times that make us realize

Life is beautiful.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day 2013

The Top 15 Quotes About Mothers - Writers Write

My mom has nine children, of which I am the third. Three of her children have thrown up in the past 24 hours. She hasn't slept through the night in weeks. The cat just figured out a way to get into our house from the garage. She drives me to work whenever I need her to. She paid for my passport when I went to Italy. She cleaned the mold out of my shower because I was too busy (and lazy) to do it. She deals with every emotional breakdown her many daughters have each week. She is supportive of all our hopes and dreams and gives us good advice.

Seriously, if there is one woman who deserves Mother's Day, it is MY mom.

To my wonderful Mommy. I love you so very much and I am so grateful for my life and the lives of all my brothers and sisters. You are amazing and I hope I can make you proud by the way I live the life you gave me.

Love,

Your Clare

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Anthem Lights: Best of 2012 Pop Mashup


I discovered Anthem Lights on Youtube this week while I was writing a history paper (haha), and I think this is the most incredible thing I have ever heard. Hope you enjoy it. (And yes, Darling, I know Call Me Maybe is in it. Listen to it anyway.)

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Poison and Wine, The Civil Wars


I just found this song yesterday in a video I was watching on Youtube, and I was perplexed by it, even though I immediately loved it. The music is gorgeous, and I already appreciated the The Civil Wars' epic harmonies from when they were featured in Taylor Swift's song, Safe and Sound. The verses are really beautiful. What confused me was the refrain: Oh I don't love you but I always will.

Trying to find some answers as to what The Civil Wars meant by this line, I Googled it, and found a really interesting article interviewing the two members of the band, John Paul White and Joy Williams:


When you performed in NYC last summer you were promoting the Poison and Wine EP, which came out in late 2009.  The title track is so powerful and speaks of relationships in such an honest way.  You are both married to other people, yet you write with so much chemistry. Do you find writing with someone who isn’t your significant other to be somewhat therapeutic?
John Paul: When we come into a writing session it’s a bit like therapy.  We can talk about things, and because we are married to other people we have a lot of the same things going on in our lives with relationships- the good, bad and ugly.  If we were in a relationship there would be certain things that would be forbidden for us to write and talk about.  There are things that we can say [to each other] that sometimes you may reserve because you don’t know how it will be taken and you don’t want to let the cat out of the bag about how you really feel.  We can say to each other, “Alright what would you scream into someone’s face if you knew they would never hear it?”
Joy: That’s Poison and Wine.
John Paul: It’s all those little things you would love to say but you really don’t want to be heard.  We do that with a lot of our songs.  Some are completely inspired by events in movies or art that we’ve seen, or books we’ve read, but some of it we pull from our own personal lives.  We just keep to ourselves which is which. source

I thought that was some really cool insight, and helped me to understand the song a little better.
I can't say whether or not there is some hidden meaning behind this song, but at face value, I find it be very convicting. It paints a really heartfelt portrait of how as a human being, I do not treat the people who should mean the most to me as well as they deserve. I recognize that sometimes I say and do things that hurt people I love. Sometimes I choose not to love them. But I always will. 

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day 2013

Today has been wonderful, especially because I am loved by God. In response to this, I made Him a Valentine.

"A VALENTINE?" You may say. "For GOD!?"
Why not? I love Him more than anyone else in the universe, so the least I can do is glue a little paper Valentine into my journal for Him!




In other news, I received plenty of chocolate to keep me from being overly penitential during this Lent (thank you, Steve!), and watched the movie Anastasia with my younger sister instead of writing history and literature papers. It has been a LOVELY day.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone, and may God bless you and show you how deeply you are loved!

"In this is love: 
not that we have loved God, 
but that he loved us 
and sent his Son 
as expiation for our sins."

- 1 John 4: 10

Friday, January 25, 2013

If you want to, you can.


At the beginning of the school year last fall, I found this quote in my theology book. It spoke directly to my heart, and it still does. 

"In your life, there are two things that do not fit together: your head and your heart.

Your intelligence — enlightened by faith — shows you the way clearly. It can also point out the difference between following that way heroically or stupidly. Above all, it places before you the divine greatness and beauty of the undertakings the Trinity leaves in our hands.

Your feelings, on the other hand, become attached to everything you despise, even while you consider it despicable. It seems as if a thousand trifles were awaiting the least opportunity, and as soon as your poor will is weakened, through physical tiredness or lack of supernatural outlook, those little things pile up and excite your imagination, until they form a mountain that oppresses and discourages you. Things such as the rough edges of your work, your resistance to obedience; the lack of proper means; the will-o’-the-wisp attractions of an easy life; greater or smaller repugnant temptations; bouts of over-sentimentality; tiredness; the bitter taste of spiritual mediocrity…
And sometimes also fear; fear because you know God wants you to be a saint, and you are not a saint.

Allow me to talk to you bluntly. You have more than enough “reasons” to turn back, and you lack the resolution to correspond to the grace that He grants you, since He has called you to be another Christ — ipse Christus! — Christ himself. You have forgotten the Lord’s admonition to the Apostle: “My grace is enough for you!”, which is confirmation that, if you want to, you can."

— Saint Josemaría Escrivá , Furrow, 166


Also! Today, hundreds of thousands of people were in Washington D. C. for the March for Life to show the world they will not sit by while abortion takes place in our country. I pray that Saint Josemaría Escrivá would intercede for the world at the throne of Heaven, that we may live to see the end of legalized abortion and crimes against the dignity of human life.

Through the Holy Name of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I pray,


Amen.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

My wonderful weekend

This past weekend I interviewed with NET Ministries, because I feel that God is calling me to serve His Kingdom by ministering to youth who are in need of His love.

This weekend was absolutely fantastic. There were moments of great pain where the Devil tried to steal my peace in God's plan for me, but my Blessed Mother came to my rescue and her prayers helped me to trust again. I had so much fun, I grew closer to Christ, and I made some unbelievably awesome friends who I hope to keep for years, no matter who gets accepted this year.

One of my new friends, a magnificent young lady named Melina, I have actually been able to keep in touch with right away via e-mail, and I learned that she is a singer-songwriter slowly trying to work her way into the Christian music industry. Her videos are fantastic, and I wanted to share with all of you the one video that is my favorite so far. Please watch her videos and like them if you have a Youtube account (I do not)! She's trying to get 500 views this year, and she has a really beautiful voice :)


Melina is such a beautiful witness to God's unfailing love. I am honored to call her my friend. We're really different; she's confident and accomplished, I'm kind of goofy and procrastinating. But we share a common desire for Christ and His will above anything else. No one can take our Lord from us, no matter how we suffer or struggle in this life.

Please keep Melina, myself, and about 55 other young men and women who applied for NET this past weekend. We all desire to serve God in this way, and it is a journey that will take faith and strength, accepted or not.

In other news, my younger sister got back from Rome the Friday I was gone at my NET interview, and she bought me a gorgeous scarf and a big pile of Italian candy (I LOVE YOU MEG!!). I am starting my second semester of senior year. And that's about it!

God bless, and take care!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

1 John: 4: 7-10


Beloved, let us love one another,

because love is of God;
everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.
Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.
In this way the love of God was revealed to us:
God sent his only-begotten Son into the world
so that we might have life through him.
In this is love:
not that we have loved God, but that he loved us
and sent his Son as expiation for our sins.


Monday, January 7, 2013

A picture-dump post

I have just had what was probably the best week of my life, and all I want to do is share a little beauty, so here you go. God bless you, and enjoy!




roadless-travelled:

yes!







Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 and 2013

I am willing to go out on a limb and say that this has been the best year of my life so far.

So much has happened, I've grown so much, seen so much, and learned so much, its just incredible. 













Last year on this day I was in Rome, Italy. This time around, my younger sister will be going in January!


So I started off this year in another country. My trip to Rome was the scariest, bravest, hardest, and most exciting thing I've ever done. I went because God asked me to, and I don't know exactly how it changed me, but it did. I got to see the body of St. Clare of Assisi, whom I am named after, I got to see Pope Benedict XVI from about five feet away, and I discovered the most magical substance on the face of the earth...Strawberry Gelato!

A lot of other amazing things happened this year, and terrible, hard things, too.

I moved twice in the past two years, met someone mildly famous who I admire, cut my hair too short three times in a row, went to the funeral of a wonderful friend, saw my first friend for an afternoon, spent a week with my best friend and his family, continued to work at a grocery store, applied for Catholic ministry work, procrastinated and slacked off in my studies, said goodbye to a lot of friends going to college, bought a laptop named Quincy, thought I had my wallet stolen, attended an amazing art class, made Pascal from the movie Tangled out of wire, wrote a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, went to a Britt Nicole concert, saw no movies in the theater, ate my weight in egg roles, rediscovered my favorite musical, caught up with my extended family, read a bunch of stunning books....and basically fell more in love with God.

I am looking forward to 2013. I have an interview in January with a United States based missionary organization, and if I get excepted, I'll spend nine months serving the Church by sharing my faith with young people. I will probably find a new job since mine is starting to cost me due to gas money, and I might actually get a driver's license. Maybe.
I will graduate sometime in the spring, and while I have no plans for going to college yet, I recently took my ACT and will find out my scores soon. My options are open.

I have no idea what God has in store for me, but I'm excited. He has a perfect plan, and He has never, ever let me down. I am secure in Christ, and I will continue to try and serve Him above all things, and become a saint.

As I usually do at the end of each year, I like to pick a favorite song or a song that really sums up how I feel about this year and next year. This is extremely difficult for me as I run on music and its been a whole 365 days of awesome songs. But, like I said, I went to a Britt Nicole concert this past fall, and it was really inspiring for me. Britt Nicole is an amazing young woman who has given God her all, and at her concert she said something kind of awesome. She said that no matter how big our dreams are, God's dreams for us are bigger. That is definitely true for my life; I have no idea where I'm going, I'm dreaming too small. But I will follow God wherever His dreams for me will go.

Basically, Britt Nicole is awesome, and I hope I can see her perform live again someday.

So, my song this year is from her. Enjoy, God Bless you, and Happy New Year 2013!




Friday, December 28, 2012

Emily Appreciation Post

So, the lovely Emily of findingaquietcorner.tumblr.com gave me a most wondrous Christmas present. She drew little illustrations of my NaNoWriMo book characters, and here they are!!





I can't actually express how much I love these drawings. Barbara and Padraig are absolutely perfect. This is actually one of my favorite things...when people draw my book characters? Yeah. Best thing in the world. 

So yes, Emily is awesome.





Saturday, December 15, 2012

NaNoWriMo 2012: The Nineteenth Chapter



This is the entire nineteenth chapter of my NaNo Novel, Leprechaun Holiday. It is one of my favorite scenes in my novel, because its a really heartfelt piece, for both me and Padraig Offaly.
At a certain point a few days before NaNoWriMo story started, I got this idea in my head called 'The Superman Complex'.
Superman has a lot of amazing powers, but whenever he uses them, he vanishes. No one ever gets to thank the hero, and they never truly understand him.
One of the biggest plot points in my novel is that my Leprechaun grants wishes, and every time he does, he runs away. He has a Superman Complex. So this is the scene that I wrote embodying that whole idea. It is set at the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France. It is early December.
Enjoy!

Eiffel-tower-paris-photography-favim.com-280587_large




The Nineteenth Chapter
The Leprechaun and the ‘Superman Complex’
Padraig needed some fresh air. He left the apartment late during the evening, around 9:30 p.m., and walked to the Eiffel Tower. It was not something he had planned on doing, but everything had gone so completely and unexpectedly wrong, he figured it might be worth trying something completely unexpected. On his way there, he bought a tall bottle of beer.
The tower looked just like it did in all those romantic pictures of Paris at night. There was hardly a soul around for once, and Padraig went up to the left front support of the tower and sat down on the steps tiredly. A small line of people was going in at the ticket counter, but Padraig didn’t feel like going up just yet. So he just sat in the glow of the Eiffel Tower, drinking his beer, and thinking, for a long time.
He thought about what his life had been like five years ago, and before that fateful day. The day Edwin died.
As he followed his gloomy, nostalgic train of thought, for some reason he started to think about Superman.  He remembered being seven years old and thinking Superman was the greatest thing in the world. He would watch the old cartoons with his dad on Saturday mornings. But what he was really thinking about was this; I’m just like Superman. I have an incredible gift, but I’m the only one. And whenever I use it to help anyone, I have to leave. I just run away. I never let anyone thank me. I never let anyone really know me. Because I’m the only one. No one can help me. No one can show me who I am. I’m the only one with super strength and heat vision. No one will ever understand how it feels.
But every time Superman saved Lois Lane, even though he flew away and she never got to thank him, he always saw her again. Once upon a time, that had been Padraig, too. He’d grant a wish, need to run away, but he could return. All the times he’d granted Edwin one more little wish, just to help his best friend one more time. All the mornings he stuck a coin in Mrs. Walsh’s mailbox for her to find, just so she could pay the rent one more time. All the Sundays he dropped a little gold coin in the offering plate, knowing Mr. Doherty, the parish treasurer, would put it to good use.
All that had stopped after Edwin died. The Superman Complex had changed dramatically. He still ran away; but these days, he never came back.
Now, his ‘super powers’ were more like his personal kryptonite than anything else.
“Superman was really lucky,” Padraig murmured softly to himself. “I think that’s the big difference between him and me,”
But, there was one thing about Superman no one could ever deny. No matter what, he did the right thing. He kept his promises, he paid for his mistakes, and he always managed to save the day.
Padraig finished his beer, and got up to throw the bottle in a waste bin. Then he went into the ticket office, and bought a ticket to the top of the tower. He took the elevator up and just stood up there for a long time, staring out at all the glittering, golden lights of Paris. If he leaned forward and held out his arms, it was like he was flying.
At 10:45, someone came up to him and explained that the tower was closing in fifteen minutes, and he needed to head down. Padraig did, and then just sat down on the steps again. He thought about everything and everyone. He thought about poor missing Deirdre. He thought about Leal and Sandrine. He thought about Stian and his amazing magical powers. He thought about his parents; his mother who understood him too well and his father who didn’t understand him at all. He thought about Barbara Peplum, especially her huge head of curly hair and the way it bounced when she moved. He thought about Edwin. My goodness, he hadn’t thought about Edwin so long and hard in many, many years.
And he thought about Superman.
By morning, Padraig had made up his mind. It was time to be Superman. It was time to do the right thing, even if it hurt, and especially because it would mean making a sacrifice.